Bounced Between Offices: When Everyone Says 'Not My Job'

#1 · August 4, 2025, 7:53 am

Quote from evan on August 4, 2025, 7:53 am

Bounced Between Offices: When Everyone Says “Not My Job”

After receiving the custody ruling in 2022, I believed that the institutions would now support me — or at least acknowledge their part in resolving my children's legal status.

I was wrong again.

A System That Refused to Act

I started with the Jugendamt (Youth Office), the same agency that had followed my family for years. I showed them the ruling, explained the situation, and requested their support in updating the children's registration and resolving the missing affidavit issue.

Their response? Go to the Ausländerbehörde (Immigration Office).

So I went to the Ausländerbehörde (Immigration Office), where I was told to contact the Greek Embassy. But I had already done that. Three times. The Embassy refused to act without the mother’s cooperation and original passport — which Germany had confiscated.

The circle was closed.

The Illusion of Responsibility

Each office I contacted recognized that the situation was absurd — two children growing up without a legal identity — but no one took ownership. Every official nodded sympathetically, yet referred me elsewhere.

The Registry Office said, We cannot update paternity without international confirmation.
The Immigration Office said, We cannot process the mother’s papers without her cooperation.
The Child Support office said, We cannot treat them as your children without papers.
The Jobcenter refused to count them in the family unit.
Even the tax office classified me as a single man.

It was bureaucracy as theatre: Everyone performed their role, but no one made decisions.

Silence as Policy

The most common answer I got was no answer at all.

Letters were ignored. Emails unanswered. Phones were never picked up. The silence was louder than rejection — because it didn’t even offer me the dignity of a response.
In Germany, not answering is sometimes the institutional way of saying "no" — without ever having to justify it.

And still, the children waited.

🡒 In the next article, I’ll share how I tried to use my legal knowledge to break through this silence — and how the only ones who truly understood were outside the German system.

Bounced Between Offices: When Everyone Says “Not My Job”

After receiving the custody ruling in 2022, I believed that the institutions would now support me — or at least acknowledge their part in resolving my children's legal status.

I was wrong again.

A System That Refused to Act

I started with the Jugendamt (Youth Office), the same agency that had followed my family for years. I showed them the ruling, explained the situation, and requested their support in updating the children's registration and resolving the missing affidavit issue.

Their response? Go to the Ausländerbehörde (Immigration Office).

So I went to the Ausländerbehörde (Immigration Office), where I was told to contact the Greek Embassy. But I had already done that. Three times. The Embassy refused to act without the mother’s cooperation and original passport — which Germany had confiscated.

The circle was closed.

The Illusion of Responsibility

Each office I contacted recognized that the situation was absurd — two children growing up without a legal identity — but no one took ownership. Every official nodded sympathetically, yet referred me elsewhere.

The Registry Office said, We cannot update paternity without international confirmation.
The Immigration Office said, We cannot process the mother’s papers without her cooperation.
The Child Support office said, We cannot treat them as your children without papers.
The Jobcenter refused to count them in the family unit.
Even the tax office classified me as a single man.

It was bureaucracy as theatre: Everyone performed their role, but no one made decisions.

Silence as Policy

The most common answer I got was no answer at all.

Letters were ignored. Emails unanswered. Phones were never picked up. The silence was louder than rejection — because it didn’t even offer me the dignity of a response.
In Germany, not answering is sometimes the institutional way of saying "no" — without ever having to justify it.

And still, the children waited.

🡒 In the next article, I’ll share how I tried to use my legal knowledge to break through this silence — and how the only ones who truly understood were outside the German system.