Every generation believes it’s the one that finally got parenting “right.” And every generation also silently (or loudly) criticizes the one before and the one after.
In the 1980s, many parents smoked with their kids in the car. No seatbelt, no windows open—just the casual normality of what we’d now call endangerment. Today, in most Western countries, that would be a crime. But here’s the irony: parents from that era often look at today’s parents with equal disbelief.
“You reward your kids for everything. They don’t learn respect that way.”
“You listen too much to their feelings.”
“In our time, we didn’t need space—we needed discipline.”
And yet, when adults today reflect on their own childhoods, many recognize that what was called “discipline” was sometimes just… emotional distance. Ignoring a child’s voice wasn’t about character-building—it was about control.
The Shift in Norms
Parenting in the past was more directive and hierarchical. Parents were authority figures first, caregivers second. Children were often expected to comply without explanation. Personal space was rarely a consideration, and emotional support was often implicit, not spoken.
Now, we’re seeing a shift toward involvement, validation, and open communication. We praise our kids for trying, we encourage them to express their emotions, and we see discipline as guidance rather than punishment. But with this shift, comes new criticism—this time, from the previous generation.
What was once considered weakness is now seen as emotional intelligence. What was once seen as necessary discipline is now viewed as psychological harm.
New Values, New Criticisms
Respect today is not earned by fear or distance but by connection and consistency. We want our children to feel seen and heard, because we understand how damaging it can be to feel invisible.
Still, we hear it:
“You’re raising them to be entitled.”
“In our day, we learned respect the hard way.”
Yes—and many also learned silence, suppression, and self-doubt.
The point is not to dismiss the past. Our parents did what they thought was best. Just like we are now. But parenting is not a fixed formula. It evolves with culture, with science, and with awareness.
Cultural and Personal Diversity
Even within the same generation, parenting varies dramatically across cultures, values, and personalities. What works in one household might feel impossible in another. That’s why trying to define one “correct” way to raise children is both arrogant and ineffective.
There are no universal rules. There are only thoughtful suggestions, open conversations, and the humility to admit that we’re all learning. No matter how many books we read, or how many times we correct our mistakes, parenting remains deeply human and deeply flawed—and that’s okay.
Conclusion: Welcome Suggestions, Not Rules
Parenting is not a generational competition. No need mocking the past and fearing the future. Instead, it would be wise to focus on what really matters: creating environments where our children can grow, safely, openly, and authentically.
We may not get everything right. But if we raise our kids to question, to feel, and to care—then maybe, just maybe, we’re on the right path.